Monthly Archives: June 2011

Did You Know?????

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Did you know that those who appear to be really strong, really are the most sensitive…Did you know that those who spend all their time protecting others sometimes really need someone to protect them? Did you know that three of the hardest things to say are: I love you, I’m sorry and Help me! Put as your status if you agree… Some will, most wont.
This is from my new friend Rae. Of course FB won’t let you type anything over 250 characters; I decided to put this on my blog to address this.
I am strong, because I am sensitive. I care and protect because I need to be cared for and protected. I don’t do this so someone will do that for me; but in a strange way when I focus on helping others all those needs don’t seem to be as blurring in my mind.
I still have great trouble asking for help. I will tell you why. I have gone to doctors, therapists and others stating that I needed help. I couldn’t get it unless I paid for it, which without an income, well, it’s not gonna happen. When someone asks me for help, I know they must need it or they wouldn’t have asked because it is hard to ask. I won’t be the one to say, “Sorry. There’s nothing I can do”. I hate that for our world, our society. The only thing I will be held accountable for is what I did, what I didn’t do, whether I turned my back or was too (whatever) to be able to care.
Saying I’m sorry still sucks, cause I like to be right. It has just been over the last few years that I have realized how imperfect I really am and that’s helps me to look past others failing s as well.
We are on this WONDERFUL journey of life. It is not the destination that is truly important but it is the journey along the way that counts most.
Thanks for inspiring this most grave introspection. It is always good to look within and feel our lives not just run from place to place doing our lives.

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Animals

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June 26th, 2011

I don’t really know exactly what it is about animals that make me love them so very much. All I know is that I have had many dogs, cats, horses, a burro, a sheep and rabbits.
When I was a child animals were my best friends. I lived a difficult childhood and my father was very strict. He prohibited me from having “friends” but I made them on my own with the animals in my life.
When I lived in Oklahoma earlier this year I didn’t have my dog with me. Her name is Jamaica. I found her out in front of where I worked about 5 years ago. This cute little puppy that just had to give kisses. She is also kind of an odd looking dog. I had never seen a dog like her before. I learned later that she is a Papillion Chihuahua. She has the sweetest face. When I cry she always tries to lick all the tears away.
She has been my companion through thick and thin these last 5 years. When I didn’t have her near I missed her just as much as I did my kids. When she finally saw me again it was right back to being attached to my hip, so to speak. She really didn’t seem to notice that I had been gone for nearly a year. It seemed like to her, I was here yesterday and back today. She sleeps with me every night cuddled up in my arms. She is the sweetest Dog I have ever had. My daughter named her Jamaica, something to do with a Bratz movie she was watching at the time. But, the name suits her or maybe she became the name. Animal’s personalities are often so unique and special.
I think sometimes about how much I will miss her when she is gone. I often think of kind of weird things, like “should I have her stuffed?” or maybe cremated and wear her ashes in a vile around my neck. I suppose all people really love their pets. Maybe it’s not so kooky to keep a part of her with me always.
For now we just enjoy each other’s company. We sit together, eat together and she is always at my feet when I am working on my writing. I will enjoy her company for as long as I can and never forget her when she is gone.